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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity: 2010

#percentage #australian #men #women #activity
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian males and females in different
age
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 groups who were physically active in 2010.
Overall
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, Except for the
age
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group
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 between 15 to 24 years old, women were more active than men during the recorded period. It is
also
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 clear that men were more active during adolescence and young adulthood. During ,adolescence men’s participation in regular exercise was 52.8%, and
this
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 figure dropped significantly to 42.2% and 39.5% during the
age
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group
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 between 25 and 44 years old respectively before it started to rise steadily reaching 46.7% for those at the
age
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 of 65 and above. Despite that, Australian females in the
age
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group
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 between 15 to 24 were less active than males in the same
age
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group
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, their proportion continued to rise as they get older and represented 48.9%, 52.5% and 53.3% between 25 to 54 years old before it dropped to 47.1% for those at the
age
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 of 65 and over.
Submitted by eldowi74 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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