IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Do young people today make good use of their leisure time? Or do they spend too much time watching television and playing video games, instead of taking part in more productive activities? Use your own ideas and experience and support your arguments with examples.

#people #leisure #time #television #video #games #part #activities #support #arguments
In recent years, television and
video
games
 had taken over young adults' lives.
While
 some claim that youngsters should spend their free
time
 on more productive
activities
, In my opinion, young people should spend their leisure
however
 they want. In
this
 essay, I will explain the advantages and disadvantages of spending your spare
time
 watching
TV
 or playing
video
games
 and will give solutions to
this
 issue.
Firstly
, one advantage of watching
TV
 is that it’s beneficial for relaxation. Young kids nowadays experience great stress from many sources,
such
 as school, parents and other commitments. spending their after-school
time
 watching television is great for escapism, it’s a moment where you can ‘forget’ about your life and just relax.
Furthermore
, playing computer
games
 can be good for hand-eye coordination and watching
TV
 can be a good educational source
while
 watching informative shows.
On the other hand
, having too much
time
 spent in front of a screen can
also
 have disadvantages. Since young people sit all day long with no physical movement, it could
consequently
 lead to physical harm, like eyesight damage, back and neck problems and cause obesity.
Moreover
, it could lead to poor social skills, since they don’t spend
time
 socializing with other kids. I think there should be a limitation on
time
 spent watching
TV
 and playing
video
games
. These
activities
 should be mixed with other
activities
 like sports, which would help with physical movement and socializing with other kids, and even art and instrumental playing which is known as therapeutic. In conclusion, in my belief, there is no right or wrong way for teenagers to spend their spare
time
. In spite of it, I think
in addition
 to watching
TV
 and playing
video
games
, young people should vary their
activities
 and add physical and social gatherings to their afternoons.
Submitted by mayab2001 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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