IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram shows the process of milk production

The diagram shows the process of milk production
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The process diagram illustrates the steps involved in
production
Add an article
the production
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 of
milk
Use synonyms
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the steps by steps approach is divided into 8 categories. Starting from cows grazing to its retail to
final
Add an article
the final
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 consumer in the supermarkets.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the cow
are
Change the verb form
is
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 allowed to graze on the farm which is
then
Linking Words
 followed by
a twice daily procedures
Correct the article-noun agreement
twice daily procedures
a twice daily procedure
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 of
Use synonyms
milk
Wrong verb form
milking
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 out their
milk
Use synonyms
 by the milking machine,
then
Linking Words
 the
milk
Use synonyms
 is stored in a refrigerator where
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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then
Linking Words
 transported in a
milk
Use synonyms
 tanker daily to the diary.
Further
Linking Words
, from the diary, the delivered
milk
Use synonyms
 is
then
Linking Words
 pasteurized and packaged , some are made into cheese,cream and butter which will be
finally
Linking Words
 delivered
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the supermarkets and shops for sale by the final consumer

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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