The diagram shows process of milk and other product production,summarize it.

The diagram shows process of milk and other product production,summarize it.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The diagram shows process of milk and other product production,summarize it.
The picture depicts the process involved in milk production and the stages.
This
Linking Words
commences with the open grazing of cows till the final stage of distribution of the finished products to the end users via a trading system.
Firstly
Linking Words
,the animals are seen feeding on grasses in an open field as it is generally believed that well-fed ruminants yield good benefits for the carer. The cows are
thereafter
Linking Words
milked twice daily using the milking machine.
However
Linking Words
, the same is kept at a good temperature in a refrigerator and is been transported via a milk tanker every day to the factory for processing and distribution to consumers.
Secondly
Linking Words
, processed dairy is
therefore
Linking Words
produced into cheese,cream and butter
while
Linking Words
some undergo pasteurization before being packaged into various containers and sizes.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, they are distributed to stores and malls for consumption by end users.
Finally
Linking Words
,non of the eight stages in dairy processing can be skipped in order to get good creamy and healthy milk in circulation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "thereafter".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: