IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related products are produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The diagram above depicts the process by which
Use synonyms
milk related
Add a hyphen
milk-related
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 goods are manufactured, processed and sold to the public.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 8
process
Change to a plural noun
processes
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 illustrated in the diagram , starting from the cow's feeding on the grass to produce
milk
Use synonyms
 to be stored in the refrigerator for preservation and later transported to the diary.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, the
milk
Use synonyms
 is processed in the diary into various forms, like cheese, cream and butter.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
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 some are still left as
milk
Use synonyms
 to be pasteurized for presentation and
then
Linking Words
 packaged.
Finally
Linking Words
, the goods are ready after several processing and packaging to be dispensed and sold out to shops ,
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
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 and
to
Change preposition
apply
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the public.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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