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Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who have moved house either in last 3 years,between 3years to 5 years,not within the last 5 years

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who have moved house either in last 3 years,between 3years to 5 years,not within the last 5 years
#bar #percentage #people #house #years
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The bar graph illustrates the proportion of moving, depending on personal ages and living period
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 houses. The
age
Use synonyms
 divided
four
Change preposition
into four
show examples
 groups which were 20 to 29, 30 to 39, 40 to 49 and over 50
years
Use synonyms
 old.
In addition
Linking Words
, the term of living
Change preposition
in thier
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 homes
Add a missing verb
were seperated
show examples
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
three
Change preposition
into three
show examples
 periods, moved
house
Use synonyms
 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 ago, in the
last
Linking Words
 3
years
Use synonyms
 and not moved
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
group
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
moved
Add an article
the moved
a moved
show examples
house
Use synonyms
 between 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 ago ranked the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 proportion at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 40 generations. As other
age
Use synonyms
 groups except over 50
years
Use synonyms
 showed the least percentage
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 not moving during 5
years
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in over 50 ages, the biggest occupied per
cent
Use synonyms
 would be a not moving
group
Use synonyms
. To compare in the view of
age
Use synonyms
, except
over
Correct article usage
the over
show examples
 50
years
Use synonyms
 old
group
Use synonyms
, the per
cent
Use synonyms
 of people who moved houses between 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 occupied the most proportions on their
each
Change the determiner
every
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 and the highest was over 40 under 49
years
Use synonyms
 old
group
Use synonyms
, it was 55 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The
secondest
Correct your spelling
second
 category was the
group
Use synonyms
 of moved
house
Use synonyms
 within 3
years
Use synonyms
. It was ranked the highest in
20
Correct article usage
the 20
show examples
 to 29
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
,
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 in 33 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Not moving
group
Use synonyms
 within 5
years
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 in
over
Correct article usage
the over
show examples
 50
years
Use synonyms
 old
group
Use synonyms
,
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 in 42%
while
Linking Words
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 was 14% in the
age
Use synonyms
 of 40 to 49. To see all
age
Use synonyms
 groups, moving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
house
Use synonyms
 from 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 high in each
group
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, in
elderly
Add an article
the elderly
show examples
group
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most did not move in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nursemk1991 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, house, group, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 6 times.
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