IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who have moved house either in last 3 years,between 3years to 5 years,not within the last 5 years

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who have moved house either in last 3 years,between 3years to 5 years,not within the last 5 years
#bar #percentage #people #house #years
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of moving, depending on personal ages and living period
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 houses. The
age
 divided
four
Change preposition
into four
show examples
 groups which were 20 to 29, 30 to 39, 40 to 49 and over 50
years
 old.
In addition
, the term of living
Change preposition
in thier
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 homes
Add a missing verb
were seperated
show examples
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
three
Change preposition
into three
show examples
 periods, moved
house
 3 to 5
years
 ago, in the
last
 3
years
 and not moved
house
 in the
last
 5
years
.
Overall
, the
group
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
moved
Add an article
the moved
a moved
show examples
house
 between 3 to 5
years
 ago ranked the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 proportion at the
age
 of 40 generations. As other
age
 groups except over 50
years
 showed the least percentage
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 not moving during 5
years
,
while
 in over 50 ages, the biggest occupied per
cent
 would be a not moving
group
. To compare in the view of
age
, except
over
Correct article usage
the over
show examples
 50
years
 old
group
, the per
cent
 of people who moved houses between 3 to 5
years
 occupied the most proportions on their
each
Change the determiner
every
show examples
age
 and the highest was over 40 under 49
years
 old
group
, it was 55 per
cent
. The
secondest
Correct your spelling
second
 category was the
group
 of moved
house
 within 3
years
. It was ranked the highest in
20
Correct article usage
the 20
show examples
 to 29
age
group
,
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 in 33 per
cent
. Not moving
group
 within 5
years
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 in
over
Correct article usage
the over
show examples
 50
years
 old
group
,
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 in 42%
while
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 was 14% in the
age
 of 40 to 49. To see all
age
 groups, moving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
house
 from 3 to 5
years
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 high in each
group
,
however
, in
elderly
Add an article
the elderly
show examples
group
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most did not move in the
last
 5
years
.
Submitted by nursemk1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, house, group, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 6 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: