IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Having a salaried job is better than being self-employed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#job
It is perceived by a large section of people that being employed at an institution to earn one's livelihood is much better than self-employment.
However
 , I disagree with the given notion and I will discuss some reasons for my disagreement.
To begin
 with, it allows individuals to have greater
control
 over working and lifestyle.To be precise, they can choose their own working hours, projects and clients.
This
 autonomy fosters creativity and innovation,as self-employed individuals have the freedom to persuade their careers and make decisions based on their values.
For instance
, a doctor running his own clinic will have access to men's hours and decisions enabling him to have better
control
 over his employment.
Moreover
, self-employment can lead to higher income potential as they can scale their business at any level and they can generate substantial profits.
Furthermore
, being self-employed encourages personal growth and development as entrepreneurs are responsible for every aspect of the business from marketing to finances .
For example
, a businessman running his business successfully will definitely make higher profits , which promotes growth and development .
In contrast
, the main benefit of salaried jobs provides a sense of stability as they offer fixed income, which includes financial security and mental peace and more often offers health insurance, retirement plans, bonus and paid leave.
Thus
 , the individuals will have a stable and secure career. In conclusion, self-employment provides greater
control
 and higher income potential ,which proves that it is better than salaried jobs as it leads to
control
 over one's decisions and actions.
Submitted by lakhanaberdar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: