The chart below shows participation in certain leisure activities by children in Australia. Write a report describing the information shown below

#participation #leisure #activities #children #australia #report #information

The chart gives information about the percentage of 5-14-year-old

boys

and

girls

participating in various leisure activities in Australia. It can be noted that all of the kids love to watch TV or videos a great deal. The least favourite leisure pursuit among

girls

is skateboarding or rollerblading

while

boys

favour Art and craft the least. After watching TV and videos, three-fifth of the

girls

enjoy both bike riding and playing electronic or computer games equally.

Furthermore

, a bit over half of the

girls

prefer art and craft. It is clearly visible that a bit less than a third of the proportion participate in skateboarding or rollerblading

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when it comes to

girls

Likewise

, not just the whole proportion of

boys

like watching TV and videos, a four-fifth of them play electronic or computer games as well.

Moreover

, 7 in 10

boys

enjoy bike riding

whereas

skateboarding or rollerblading and art and craft are equally the least preferred activities.

Submitted by shwetapanchal172 on Tue May 23 2023

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

158 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows participation in certain leisure activities by children in Australia. Write a report describing the information shown below

In nearly all science courses at university, there are significantly more male students than female students. What is the reason for this? What could be done to balance out the number?

8. Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is predicted that robots are going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?