The pie chart and the table illustrate the percentage of birthplaces in residents living in Australia and where people born in these countries live, respectively.

The pie chart and the table illustrate the percentage of birthplaces in residents living in Australia and where people born in these countries live, respectively.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart and the table illustrate the percentage of birthplaces in residents living in
Australia
Use synonyms
and where people born in these countries live, respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the
proportion
Use synonyms
of
Australians
Use synonyms
born in
Australia
Use synonyms
occupies the largest portion
while
Linking Words
the figure for
Australia
Use synonyms
’s inhabitants, whose birthplace is the Netherlands, is the lowest.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Australians
Use synonyms
born in these nations prefer living in urban areas to living in suburban places. Concerning the pie chart, nearly three-quarters of
Australians
Use synonyms
were born in
Australia
Use synonyms
, which is the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
. There is 14%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the percentage of
Australians
Use synonyms
residing in other countries, which doubles that of the UK.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
of
Australia
Use synonyms
’s citizens, whose home country is the Netherlands, is
smallest
Correct article usage
the smallest
show examples
, with 1% and the figures for New Zealand and China represent an insignificant minority. As can be seen from the table, most
Australians
Use synonyms
from these countries choose to dwell in cities
instead
Linking Words
of the countryside. There is 99% of the people whose hometown is China settle in urban areas and 1% live in rural ones.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
of
Australians
Use synonyms
who were born in New Zealand and
Australia
Use synonyms
that reside in the city accounted for 80% and 83% respectively, which is about 4 times higher than that in suburban places.
Moreover
Linking Words
, approximately 90%
Use synonyms
Australia’s
Change preposition
of Australia’s
show examples
inhabitants, whose birthplace is the UK and Netherlands, dwell in cities, which
around
Add a missing verb
is around
show examples
9 times as high as that in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
.
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, proportion, australians with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: