Many olderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of trhis trend?

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Nowadays a large number of elderly are sent to nursing homes to be taken care of. There are numerous advantages and disadvantages to
this
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issue which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, recently care
houses
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homes
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have become very popular
due to
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creating a tidy and neat atmosphere to help old people become friends and communicate with each other. To cite an example, my friend’s grandpa has been living in one of these centres for several years. She noted that he is doing well in comparison with the time he was living on his own. As he is a talkative and communicative person, he is capable of mingling with people of his own age easily.
In addition
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, These centres are filled with specialists who check the sick ones up every now and
then
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.
Hence
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, Health care is the priority in these locations.
Furthermore
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, the elderly are entertained by music, concerts and some practical classes which assist them
to have
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in having
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a positive outlook towards life and
to remain
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remaining
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hopeful and optimistic.
On the other hand
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, living in these centres causes some challenges. A survey conducted by Beheshti University elaborates that when the elderly are away from their homes and families, they will face psychological problems as they feel
being
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left
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left-out
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out
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and not loved by their children. An example is, the relationship between grandpas/grandmas with grandkids is so crucial not only for grandparents but
also
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for youngsters to stay in a vibrant and lovely mood.
To sum up
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,
according to
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what has already been discussed in the above paragraphs, there are many advantages and disadvantages to
this
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matter
while
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the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. I believe that the elderly should be looked after by their families
instead
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of being sent away from their homes.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a clear logical structure. The introduction and conclusion are present, and the main points are supported. However, the skillful use of cohesive devices and cohesive errors should be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a partial response to the task. It addresses the advantages and disadvantages of elderly care in nursing homes, but it would be more effective to provide a more balanced discussion. Ensure that your essay thoroughly addresses all parts of the task prompt and maintains a clear focus on the topic.
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