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Writing Samples
Band 5

The number of people who are interested in and wearing fashionable clothes is increasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #clothes #development
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Nowadays, more people are interested in wearing fashionable clothes.
While
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 some societies perceive it as a positive trend, others argue that it does not bring any development.
This
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 essay agrees with the latter view and it will discuss both viewpoints in detail. In recent decades,
fashion
Use synonyms
 has gained an important position worldwide.
However
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, a significant aspect to consider is that
this
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 industry has more popularity among the young population, which has negative impacts on society because they want to wear trendy attire thinking that it gives them a unique style.
However
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, the reality is that following the trends does not allow anyone to develop their own personality,
also
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 it
created
Wrong verb form
creates
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 stigmas and differences between the social classes
as a consequence
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 more people
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
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 mental illness.
On the other hand
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fashion
Use synonyms
 is considered the most dangerous trend for the environment taking into account that the majority of companies produce articles with huge quantities of plastic ,especially the ones that produce clothes. A USA University study shows that the planet has space for rubbish approximately for 10 more years,
that’s
Verb problem
which
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 means, we have to change our
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
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 about consumerism and being authentic, in that way we will reduce significantly the environment’s impacts One cannot ignore the fact that
fashion
Use synonyms
 moves a considerable amount of money in the country's economy.
Therefore
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, it brings significant development to the communities because they generate more job opportunities,
also
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 the companies have to pay taxes which are invested in the country. In conclusion, wearing trendy clothes has more negative than positive impacts on society,
,,,
Change the punctuation
apply
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however
Add a comma
however,
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 we cannot ignore that
fashion
Use synonyms
 has an enormous impact on the country's economy.
Submitted by yenny.sastoque on

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task response
Your essay provides a clear opinion on the topic and discusses both viewpoints in detail, meeting the requirements of the task.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally coherent, but there are some areas where ideas could be better connected and transitions improved. Additionally, your introduction and conclusion could be more developed to better frame your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • modernity
  • versatility
  • practicality
  • Western media
  • fashion industry
  • widespread adoption
  • professional settings
  • preservation
  • cultural diversity
  • cultural integration
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • unique cultural identities
  • expression of individuality
  • innovative
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