IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The table below shows the sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#sales #coffee #shop #office #weekday #information #features #comparisons
The table shows
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
sales
 in
coffee
Add an article
a coffee
the coffee
show examples
 shop which is part of
office
Add an article
an office
the office
show examples
 building on weekdays. From
Overall
Correct article usage
an Overall
show examples
 perspective its readily apparent that 7.30 to 10.30
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
Correct article usage
the bussiest
show examples
bussiest
Correct your spelling
busiest
 hour,
while
 in noon cafe got
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 customers in a day. In
mornings
Correct article usage
the mornings
show examples
,
pasteries
Correct your spelling
pastries
 are
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 high demand ,followed by
coffee
 ,
tea
 ,
coffee
Correct word choice
and coffee
show examples
(265,110,50 respectively). Between 10.30 and 14:50 ,
people
 show less interest in drinking
tea
 and eating pastries as there
below
Add a missing verb
are below
show examples
 100
people
 opting for them. The
sales
 of
Add an article
the sandwich
a sandwich
show examples
sandwich
Fix the agreement mistake
sandwiches
show examples
 is four times more than
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
 hour settling with 200
people
.
On the Other hand
,
mid afternoon
Add a hyphen
mid-afternoon
show examples
 hours there are total 145
coffee
sales
,35
tea
sales
,150
pasteries
Correct your spelling
pastries
 and 40 sandwiches . In the evenings
Coffee
 seems to be go to option
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 200
people
,
while
 110 took sandwiches and there were nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 number of
people
 that choose to have
tea
 and pastries with around 75 to 80
people
 respectively
Submitted by deekshakode95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, tea, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: