1.In some countries there are more young people choosing to enroll in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays young
students
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are given
rage
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range

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of variety opportunities to start their professional life, they can choose between
go
Wrong verb form
going

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straight to
the
Correct article usage
apply

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university
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or
invest
Wrong verb form
investing

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in
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Use synonyms
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining

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professional skills. In my
opinion
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,opinion

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both decisions are advantageous for the person. First is important to mention that, the decision
of
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to

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do
apprenticeship
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an apprenticeship

The noun phrase apprenticeship seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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or apply for
university
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depends
of
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on

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variety
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various

The word variety doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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reasons
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of reasons

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,
such
Linking Words

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: (i)
personally
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personal

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goals, (ii) the professional area that the person decided to
went
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go

It appears that the verb went should be in the base form as part of the to-infinitive following decided. Consider changing the verb form.

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, most of the time young
students
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do not have sure about their intentions of pursue
determinate
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the determinate

The noun phrase determinate field seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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field, so
enroll
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enrol

The spelling of enroll is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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in vocational training will provide them
the
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with the

It appears that you are missing a preposition with the verb provide. Consider adding the preposition.

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opportunity to
gain
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

some knowledge and sure about the profession, (iii) reduce financial burden, as we all know, the
university
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fees often the times aren’t cheap, and the scholarships are limited, so some
students
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decided to delay the application to
university
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in order to
earning
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earn

It appears that the verb earning should be in the base form as part of the to-infinitive following in order. Consider changing the verb form.

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money.
In
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On

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the other hand, after a long period of work, probably the employer will not give
the
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apply

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real recognition to the employee because they value people that
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

have a certificate degree and not just
the
Correct article usage
apply

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practical experience,
so
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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which means that one of the advantages can be the less academic recognition and limited theoretical knowledge.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

reason, attending
university
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

become a must-have in some high-tech fields. In conclusion, young people are able to
gain
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

the most practical technique during on-the-job training,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there would be some challenges for them on the way to promotion at work.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a lot of countries
in
Change preposition
at

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the
Correct article usage
apply

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present date encourage
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol

The spelling of enroll is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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in work-based training in summer or winter in order to
gain
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

a practical technique. In my opinion, from a career point of
view
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,view

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase from a career point of view. Consider adding a comma.

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I think that
gain
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

professional experience before
attend
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attending

The verb attend may be in the wrong form after the preposition before. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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university
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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more pros than cons.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, is important to remember that
ever
Correct your spelling
every

The word ever doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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decision depends on the circumstances and the
long term
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long-term

It seems that long term is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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goal of each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual

The singular quantifier each is followed by the plural noun individuals. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • skill shortages
  • transition
  • practical skills
  • hands-on experience
  • tailored
  • job satisfaction
  • financial burden
  • earn while you learn
  • long-term career advancement
  • academic education
  • critical thinking skills
  • perceived social status
  • labor market
  • flexibility
  • adaptability
What to do next:
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