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Writing Samples
Band 8

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph illustrates, so many stores in a nation, that are shut down and newly opened in the period between 2011 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
, at the beginning years to the end. There are ups and down demonstrating.
However
Linking Words
, the main fall happened in the middle
year
Use synonyms
,
that is
Linking Words
 2015.
According to
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 the chart, most
shops
Use synonyms
 opened in the early
year
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with,
Firstly
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, near to 9000
shops
Use synonyms
 were inaugurated in the
year
Use synonyms
 2011.
Whereas
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, approximately 7000, retail
shops
Use synonyms
 were closed in the same
year
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, In 2012, Closures were high in numbers,
That is
Linking Words
 around 6000 and opened
shops
Use synonyms
 graph dramatically went down reaching 4000.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, above 7000 vendors were closed in the
year
Use synonyms
 2013 and 5000 outlets were newly opened.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we can see the same proportion of open and closed
shops
Use synonyms
, in the
year
Use synonyms
 2014.
That is
Linking Words
 about 6000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, There was a significant decrease in the
year
Use synonyms
 2015. Less than 1000
shops
Use synonyms
 were closed and 4000
shops
Use synonyms
 were opened. In 2014 and 2015, opened and closed
shops
Use synonyms
 have almost the same in numbers which are 5000 closures and 4000 opened.
At the end
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 2018, the ratio of closed is higher than opened which are 3,000 opened and 5000 closed.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, shops with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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