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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Discipline is ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some think discipline should be the responsibility of teachers

#discipline #schools #think #responsibility #teachers
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Nowadays, school is a very vital foundation for every
child
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, but
behaviour
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 in school is getting worse day by day. There are several causes
impact
Correct pronoun usage
that impact
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 their
behaviour
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,
such
Linking Words
 as their parents spending less
time
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 on their
behaviour
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 and phones. The effects are influenced badly for their future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, spending less
time
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 with their
children
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 is the main cause since if parents spend less
time
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 with their
children
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, their
children
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 do
they
Correct pronoun usage
what they
show examples
 want, eventually, they will be egoistic or selfish.
Secondly
Linking Words
, phones, if I am not mistaken most teenagers waste their four or five hours per day watching unnecessary videos on social nets, these nets impact
children
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's minds very badly because their minds will fill with unnecessary things.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, nowadays there are a lot of woman
teachers
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 working in schools. There are not strict as man
teachers
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. Because female
teachers
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 are kind,
children
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 do what they want, but before there were more male
teachers
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, so the
children
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's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 was good.
On the other hand
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, the government should provide every
child
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 with psychologists and therapists. The psychologist should meet with the
child
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 every week, during the meetings, the psychologist should do various exercises to improve the
child
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's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 schools need to hire more male
teachers
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, in these
cases
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,cases
show examples
 we can treat
children
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's
behaviour
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in order to develop
behaviour
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 in schools,
behaviour
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 subjects should be introduced. In conclusion, I fully support with
idea
Add an article
the idea
an idea
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 as I mentioned above, the government should provide every
child
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 with psychologists and therapists
also
Linking Words
 parents spend more
time
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 with their
children
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.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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