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Writing Samples
Band 5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, in some nations, the proportion of young generations is gradually increasing compared to old generations. Some experts claim it is a great advantage for many reasons,
while
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 others may be concerned about negative outcomes.
This
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 essay will assess both potential benefits and drawbacks in order to decide if it is really advantageous for citizens, or not. The majority of people including me believe that
younger
Correct article usage
a younger
show examples
 society is more likely to develop than a community with an older generation.
This
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 situation creates an opportunity to have access to more employees in the workplace with a high level of energy that leads to
increasing
Change the form of the verb
increase
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 in their manufacturing and export rate in upcoming decades.
For instance
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, South Korea and Indonesia with numerous young employees are expected to increase
in
Change preposition
apply
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the growth of their economy more than other countries
such
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 as Sweden and Italy
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 have ageing populations.
Moreover
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, in young countries, a number of young people would join armies as soldiers who secure the borders and act as border protection against any possible threat. Despite the positive aspects mentioned above, the high number of youngsters in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society has
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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. To be more specific the main disadvantage is the marginal rise in some demands like a decent job that, if not answered properly
woul
Correct your spelling
would
 result in catastrophes
such
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 as smuggling or burglary and youngsters who can not imagine employment prosperity are more likely to turn to crime.
To conclude
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,
although
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increasing
Add an article
the increasing
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 population has disadvantages, I opine the advantages of
this
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 fact are far ahead. Since
this
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 young generation can contribute much to the economy of that nation.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
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