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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram shows the process of electricity production through Ocean Thermal Energy Conversation (OTEC).

The diagram shows the process of electricity production through Ocean Thermal Energy Conversation (OTEC).
The diagram shows the process of electricity production through Ocean Thermal
Energy
Use synonyms
 Conversation (OTEC). As is shown by the diagram, Ocean Thermal
Energy
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 Conversation (OTEC) system converts heat
energy
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 into
electric
Replace the word
electricity
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 by crossing through different stages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the first step
to
Add a missing verb
is to
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 warm seawater. The hot seawater is turned into
water
Use synonyms
vapour
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 by solar
energy
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, and
this
Linking Words
 warm
water
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introduced
Add a missing verb
is introduced
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 into the evacuated evaporation chamber, where it boils. In the next stage when the
water
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 is boiling, salt is deposited and
this
Linking Words
saltiless
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saltiness
saltless
water
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vapour
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 turns on the turbine to generate electricity.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, when it powers the turbine, the
water
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vapour
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 enters the condensing chamber, which is cooled by the cold seawater. The
water
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vapour
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 condensed in
this
Linking Words
 chamber
divided
Add a missing verb
is divided
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 into two parts one is the drinking
water
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 and another is the waste salt
water
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 which is released back into the sea in order to repeat the whole process.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, water, vapour with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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