IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress, but they should be concerned about the quality at work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over whether it is essential for hirers to take notice
about
Change preposition
of
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 the
quality
Use synonyms
 at work of employees
instead
Linking Words
 of their outfits.
While
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fashion
Correct article usage
the fashion
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 factor is valid to some extent, I consider myself an advocate of employees’ attribution. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is vital for employers to pay attention to workers’
quality
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 its tremendous benefit in the fruitfulness of firms. Clearly, employees with a high level of qualification will frequently
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 their duty on a successful tactic.
Therefore
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, the profit of the businesses can be raised, providing an explanation for why recruiters from leading companies tend to offer myriads opportunities for those. Take Vingroup, one of the leading enterprises in Vietnam, hiring policy as an outstanding example. The firm requires candidates to obtain a certain level of
insights
Fix the agreement mistake
insight
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in
Change preposition
into
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 fields before actually becoming their workers.
Hence
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, the
quality
Use synonyms
 at work is a decisive determinant which employers should focus on
While
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 the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 is widely acknowledged, workers' garments should
also
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 be taken into consideration. It is undeniable that in working environments, wearing appropriate
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 will give members a sense of seriousness to perform well.
For example
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, bankers are asked to wear white
shirt
Fix the agreement mistake
shirts
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 with black pants when going to work in order to create a professional working style.
Thus
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, fashion is one of the significant elements that the company should be concerned about. In conclusion, the
quality
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of laborer
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laborer
Replace the word
labour
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 provided for
enterprise
Add an article
the enterprise
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 should be focused on.
However
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, it will be a mistake if employers forgot the fashion factor.

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