IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that construction of new public buildings such as museum, town hall, and sporting facility is more important than renovation of the existing ones, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #construction #buildings #museum #town #hall #facility #renovation #ones
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Everyone hopes to have nice and beautiful public spaces for their use and appreciation. Thereby referring to public
construction
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, some people rather new
buildings
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instead
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 of renovating old ones,
while
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 others prefer pre-existing places to be renovated. In the upcoming paragraphs, both perspectives will be discussed and
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also
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apply
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my opinion will be exposed. People might agree that renovation of existing public spaces is more important than
construction
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 of new
buildings
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 in order to defend, their history conservation, and historical heritage to be transmitted to the next generations.
Moreover
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, these places would possibly become tourist attractions and collect fees if they become an important history niche.
On the other hand
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, those who defend the
construction
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 of new
buildings
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 might consider old ones risky for life as their
construction
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 base must be old and unstable and
also
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 may contain toxic materials commonly used in the past but prohibited nowadays.
Furthermore
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, new constructions will make it possible for very modern and bold architecture to be inspired. I
also
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 agree that new
construction
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 should be more beneficial than renewing old public spaces for the same reasons mentioned above and even more because thinking about the cost of either renewing or building will consume a high amount of money, so in
this
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 case, in my opinion, better is to invest on a best-valued choice. In conclusion, there are important aspects to be considered on renewing old public places,
however
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,
overall
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 the best-value choice seems to be constructing new
buildings
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 in order to avoid any problems
such
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 as the use of deprecated materials and unstable building structures.
Submitted by licapark on

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task response
Ensure a clear and focused response to the task question. Make sure to address both sides of the argument equally and provide an impartial analysis.
coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger logical structure by organizing ideas in a more systematic and coherent manner. Use linking words and signposts to guide the reader through the essay.
task achievement
Expand on the supporting points for each perspective and provide more detailed and relevant examples to strengthen the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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