IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many customs and traditional ways of behaviour are no longer relevant to the modern life and not worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?

In today’s era, with all the technology and innovations, it is said that there is no longer room for traditions and folklore, as they are redundant and should be forgotten. I strongly disagree with
this
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 thought, as I will explain in
this
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 essay. I believe customs and traditional behaviour are very relevant, as they define us as a nation, learn us how to interact with each other and teach us valuable moral lessons. Traditions and folklore define us as a nation
and
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, and
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 they give us our identity.
Moreover
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, they unite us. In today’s modern life, more than ever
we
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, we
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 focus on ourselves and do not find the time to interact with others. We have forgotten how important it is to be together and spend time with each other
and
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, and
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 reflect on our traditional values and customs.
For example
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, in the
,
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apply
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Netherlands it is very usual to celebrate Christmas with family. Here, particularly at the dinner table, surrounded by your closest loved
ones
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ones,
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 you find the time for reflection and peace.
Also
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, customs and traditional behaviour work like a mirror, because they show us what our morals and values are as a nation. After all, in our old
,
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apply
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habits we can filter what we, as citizens, find important, when it comes to ethics. Especially in today’s hectic
,
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apply
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world
it
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, it
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 is paramount to remember what is really important. A good example is the festivity of Santa Claus. It is a Western tradition where children receive presents from an imaginary figure.
However
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, the
underlining
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underlying
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 message is that you should do good and help others where you can. In conclusion, I believe that holding on to our folklore and traditions in modern life is an absolute must. It will help us remind
what
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us what
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 is important in life
and
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, and
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 it will tell us who we are as a country.

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task achievement
Be clear on your view at the start and keep it shown in each part.
examples
Give more clear examples and explain them with your point.
grammar
Fix wrong words and small grammar errors (like 'learn us', 'in the ,Netherlands').
coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas.
structure
End with a short restate of your view.
content
The idea that tradition can give us identity.
content
The essay shows why we should keep traditions for moral lessons.
structure
The ending repeats the main idea.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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