The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016
The received and spent monetary fund in the year 2016 of the humanitarian activities of the offspring
that is
located in the USA is shown in the given pie chart.
Overall
, the total compensation of the heir is $53,561,580
while
the total expenses are $53,224,896. In the given chart, it is clearly seen that the main earnings are the donated food, consisting of 86.6%.
While
the community contributions are 10.4%, there are
also
different
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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of livelihoods like program salary which is 2.2%, investment interest and government grants have the same percentage receipt of 0.2%
while
the other proceeds have only 0.4%.
On the other hand
, program services are the main expense of charity activities. It costs about 95.8% of the proceeds
while
the fundraising is only 2.6% and the management and general obtained a percentage of .016. To sum it up, the humanitarian performance of the heir had a big impact in the country of the USA because of the total fund profit.
However
, because of the total ,expenses it is noticeable that the deed of the heir is really helpful to the community of the said country.
Submitted by manalangbobkervin on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • donations
  • grants
  • fundraising events
  • expenditure
  • administration costs
  • program expenses
  • direct benefits
  • indirect benefits
  • underprivileged children
  • education
  • healthcare
  • shelter
  • nourishment
  • medical treatments
  • basic needs
  • financial sustainability
  • transparency
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