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Band 4

The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are thr problems that young people living in the cities are facing with? Give soluitons to the problems.

#cities #world #thr #people #soluitons
There are numerous problems come along
while
Correct your spelling
increasing
increasingly
incresingly
Correct your spelling
increasing
 growth
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 major
cities
 around the world, and these could negatively impact
on
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apply
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teenagers that the
government
 should stand up and do something to save the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
. The major problem
on
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in
show examples
 the
cities
 is a variety of pollution.
For instance
, air pollution is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge issue which comes from heavy traffic, factories, and so on.
This
 can make young individuals take
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 risk
to
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of
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 lung cancer than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 lives in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rural area when they become elder
,
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apply
show examples
 because they have been exposed
in
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to
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such
extoic
Correct your spelling
toxic
 substance for a long
while
, and
this
also
 makes babies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more likely to be allergic.
Furthermore
, congestion is
also
 a big problem in capital
cities
particular
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particularly
show examples
 in the peak commuting time. Since the housing price in
Correct article usage
a catipal
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catipal
Correct your spelling
capital
 city is usually unaffordable, Individuals who
just
Add a missing verb
are just
show examples
 in the
averange
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average
 earning level have a tendency to reside in a suburban area and spend plenty of time
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
show examples
.
This
 makes them unable to have enough sleep, exercise and have
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
 diet, so they might end up in poor health status and suffer from chronic
while
 older
such
 as diabetes and heart disease. The solution to these problems
are quite complicate
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are quite complicated
show examples
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 nobody
have
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has
show examples
 accurate prescriptions so far.
Nonetheless
, in my opinion, the
government
 should
imopose
Correct your spelling
impose
 stricter regulations
to
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on
show examples
 the
curprit
Correct your spelling
culprit
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution. They have to pay higher
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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 because they
threat
Replace the word
threaten
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individual's
Change noun form
individual
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 health.
On the other hand
, they should
be encourage
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be encouraged
show examples
 to produce
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 in a more
enviornmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
environmentally
 friendly way, and the
government
 can give them
tax
Correct article usage
a tax
show examples
 reduction as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
compensation. In addition, the
government
 should control the housing price, and make buses available everywhere especially
in
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during
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rush hours, so the community can have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 life. To summarize, the number of major
cities
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
 dramatically and
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 a great deal of problems
such
 as poor air quality and heavy congestion. The
government
 to solve
these situation
Change the determiner
this situation
these situations
show examples
 as
quicly
Correct your spelling
quickly
 as they can to protect the citizens.
Submitted by zhangyongc83 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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