Some people believe that it’s important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations while others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both views

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There are two
type
Change to a plural noun
types

The singular noun type follows a number other than one. Consider changing the noun to the plural form.

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of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

about spending
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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celebrations
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would like to allocate a
lot
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and others would like to spend a small amount of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Big
Add an article
A big

The noun phrase Big celebration seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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celebration with
big
Correct article usage
a big

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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family could bring memorable
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments

It seems that moment may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, but
small
Correct article usage
a small

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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party
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

could make strong bonding. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

paragraphs
Fix the agreement mistake
paragraph

It seems that paragraphs may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, we will discuss these two perspectives. Spending a
lot
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to celebrate important moments in our life is essential
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because it
come
Change the verb form
comes

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb come are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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only once and gives
memorable
Add an article
a memorable

The noun phrase memorable party seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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party
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to families. Some
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures

It seems that culture may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in Indonesia had
tradition
Add an article
a tradition
the tradition

The noun phrase tradition seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to held big wedding parties. The more riches the family
, the
Add a missing verb
has, the

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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more
cost
Correct article usage
the cost

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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spend
Replace the word
spent

The word spend doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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for
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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celebration
Correct article usage
the celebration

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and the more
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will
invited
Change the verb form
invite
be invited

The verb invited after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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.
People
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

thinki
Correct your spelling
think

If you don’t want thinki to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

if
Correct word choice
that if

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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have
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

lot
Change the article
a lot

It appears that the phrase lot does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, will make their wedding dream comes true.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

my friend’s wedding in Batak ritual. They held parties in 2 days, which first day
only
Add a missing verb
was only

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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for family, and
second
Correct article usage
the second

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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day
open
Add a missing verb
was open

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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for public invitation.
Dispite
Correct your spelling
Despite

If you don’t want Dispite to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the cost,
wedding
Add an article
the wedding
a wedding

The noun phrase wedding party seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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party
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is memorable for
important
Add an article
an important

The noun phrase important moment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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moment in life.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

think that
held
Wrong verb form
holding

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb held. Consider changing it.

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ceremony
Correct article usage
a ceremony

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. For
Add an article
an introvert
the introvert
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introvert
Replace the word
introverted

The word introvert doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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person,
meet
Wrong verb form
meeting

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb meet. Consider changing it.

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a
lot
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and began centre of attention is
exhausted
Replace the word
exhausting

The word exhausted doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
Such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as anniversary and birthday parties, I rather meet for lunch or dinner with my closed
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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than
doing
Wrong verb form
do

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb doing. Consider changing it.

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Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

party
Correct article usage
a party

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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. It can build strong bonding
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.

The punctuation in ,. is incorrect. Consider changing the punctuation.

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Birthday and anniversary
ceremony
Fix the agreement mistake
ceremonies

It seems that ceremony may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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will need countless
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs

It seems that cost may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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if we celebrate
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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regularly.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

need a
lot
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to make celebrations, it is very memorable for important moments, as long as we had enough resources.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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