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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relavent.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relavent.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #summerise #information #features #comparison #relavent
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The chart
give
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gives
show examples
 information about how many
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percent
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per cent
show examples
 of
people
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 in five Australian cities have
the
Add a missing verb
had the
show examples
 habit of purchasing and drinking
coffee
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 and tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 4 weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, as we can see, Melbourne and Hobart have the highest
percentage
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 of drinkers
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
going to cafes for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coffee
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 or tea, and
Sydney
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 has the highest
percentage
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 buying fresh
coffee
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. It is easily apparent that Hobart has the greatest
percentage
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 of residents who buy instant
coffee
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 which is just a little under 55% and slightly higher than Brisbane.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the residents of
Sydney
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 have the lowest
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percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 consuming instant
coffee
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 which is merely a little over 45%.
However
Linking Words
, the greatest
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
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 who buy fresh
coffee
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 goes to
Sydney
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was approximately 44%, slightly lower than
Sydney
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's
citizens
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citizens'
citizen's
show examples
 fresh
coffee
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 consumption. In Adelaide, around 50
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percent
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per cent
show examples
 of
people
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 use instant
coffee
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 which is considerably much higher than the consumption of fresh
coffee
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, in one contrary, is slightly higher than going to cafes. In Melbourne, around 64% of residents prefer going to cafes which is significantly greater than the
percentage
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 of
people
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 who purchase fresh
coffee
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 which is about 43%.
Submitted by omidateur on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent, people, coffee, percentage, sydney with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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