Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the past decades, Technology has been developed and
also
the medical sector has developed in
this
time
.
Hince
Correct your spelling
Hence
show examples
, the average life expectancy of persons is over than before.
However
, several
people
believe that older
people
should continue to work in the job sector. Yet, I totally disagree with that statement. I will describe my point of view in that essay. Undoubtedly, older
people
carry a lot of experience but young
people
are more advanced than elderly
people
. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
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, elderly
people
had
Wrong verb form
have
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enough experience, which
is help
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
to grow up a company and they can help younger to how how to take
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
decision
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
time
but most of the
time
oder
Correct your spelling
older
people
are not understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology.
Additionally
, the
people
who already gave his service
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the nation,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
didn’t do anything except his retirement. Rather, they need to enjoy their life with their family members.
On the other hand
,
this
time
is for the younger generation so they can develop their country easily.
Moreover
, they are highly knowledgeable about technology,
also
all the
time
they try to get
addvance
Correct your spelling
advanced
for the future.
Moreover
, young
people
are more fit than elderly
people
and the company always tries to get active
people
.
Hence
, every company that wants to retire needs to take a return in a certain
time
.
To sum up
, its true return is a very hard thing for a person but youngsters should need to get
change
Add an article
a change
the change
show examples
to look forward to it. Yet, if any older
people
need money and they feel they can do their job,I think they can continue their job
Submitted by muhammadnaim194196 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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