IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
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In
this
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 era, there is a number of companies which almost focus that their
products
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 that are new in different methods. in
this
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 essay, I intend to explain why it happened.
Moreover
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, I personally believe the positive aspects of
this
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 way are far more. There are different explanation why the manager of a
company
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 usually prefer to say their
products
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 are new, but it seems to me the chief cause might be encouraging the customer to buy their
products
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. Many commentators justifiably argue that most of the
clients
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 are willing to buy new
products
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hence
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 the manager of
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company
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the company
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 tries to show their
products
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 are the
last
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 model of that field. Advertisements are able
be
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to be
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 a decisive factor to show
this
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 fundamental fact to the buyer.
consequently
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, from
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an employee
the employee
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employee
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employee's
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 perspective,
this
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 is the best way to save their
clients
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.
Also
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,
this
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 method is highly beneficial remained to win in the competition
to
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of
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 other companies.
For example
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 most of
young
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the young
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 generation altern the self phone every year so they seek the
last
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 version of
phone
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the phone
show examples
 and usually the advertisement is a decisive factor in their choice. in my opinion, the advantage of
this
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 happening is more than the drawback of them because most of
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company
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the company
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 try to increase quality and stable their
products
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 to update based on grow amount of buyers. there are those who subscribe to the view that there are several merits for
this
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 type of
advertisements
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisement
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. from
this
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 point of view, they insist the mills are able to introduce their
products
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 easily and the
clients
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 are able to compare
between
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apply
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a wide variety of
products
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 based on
these advertisement
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this advertisement
these advertisements
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. in conclusion, I think It is logical
the
Change preposition
for the
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company
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 want to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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 the amount of revenue through show their
products
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 new,
furthermore
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, I personally agree the advantage of
this
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 happening is noticeable
due to
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 the high quality of the
products
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 and the better introduction of them to the
clients
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.
Submitted by amirhsina on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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