IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
Many prepared food and beverage goods include high levels of
sugar
, which causes many health problems.
Sugar
 products should increase the cost of that types of goods.
Sugar
 can be beneficial to some people
however
sugar
 can be dangerous which is for
sugar
 dieters. On the one hand, these types of food and drinks give
energy
 a lot to people for doing any work Because
sugar
 has the ability to give much
energy
 to customers.
For example
, a
sugar
 eater will be full of
energy
 who is having breakfast with
sugar
.
In addition
,
sugar
 can be a good chance for sweet lovers since many products are prepared with
sugar
.
Due to
this
 fact, cake chocolate, ice cream, Coca-Cola and Flash are made with
sugar
.
On the other hand
,
sugar
 causes
sugar
 substances to increase in people's bodies because more than eating
sugar
 is very dangerous.
Additionally
, it is very difficult which is to produce
sugar
 and spent very much
energy
.
As a result
,
sugar
 will be very expensive because plants decrease which is taking
sugar
 from it. In conclusion, all of them should be normal during the day. And in
this
 way, you can keep fit no more than keeping a diet.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: