IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000.

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000.
#bar #sector #contributions #india’s #product
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The chart illustrates three segments’
contribution
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 to India’s gross domestic product in 40 years
period
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 from 1960 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
contribution
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 of the agriculture section had
the
Correct article usage
a
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 first-rate
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
contribution
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 at the beginning of the
period
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 but it had a dramatic decrease;
however
Linking Words
, the services segment had a significant increase to achieve the largest amount of
donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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. At the beginning of the
period
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, the agricultural
contribution
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 was more than 60% but declined dramatically to about 14% in the year 2000.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the services section
contribution
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 was approximately 17% in 1960 it soared and reached a peak of 63
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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. The industry segment had the lowest proportion at the beginning of the
period
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 about 16% in 1960, it went up slowly until 1980 and
then
Linking Words
 remain steady until the end of the
period
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 in 2000.
Submitted by parianabiloo78 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words contribution, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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