Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, the usage of social
media
has gained certain popularity among the public. it Use synonyms
is widely notice
that more and more Change the verb form
is widely noticed
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Add a missing verb
are adoption
adoption
social Replace the word
adopting
media
, and there are some public who believe that there is a risk would leakage of Use synonyms
information
when they are on Use synonyms
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
websites. Use synonyms
However
, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages Linking Words
for
social Change preposition
of
media
becoming popular.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, there are two benefits to utilizing social Linking Words
media
. For one thing, all age groups who widely Use synonyms
use
social Use synonyms
media
Use synonyms
are become
common are likely to gain all sorts of Infor. Change to the active voice
become
have become
Such
Linking Words
information
includes news, nature, Use synonyms
as well as
space. Linking Words
Consequently
, when Linking Words
human
enters social Add an article
a human
media
, they will find different kinds of current Use synonyms
information
to read. Use synonyms
For
Change preposition
On
another
Correct determiner usage
the
hand
, Correct word choice
other hand
that
citizens make Correct word choice
apply
use
of social Use synonyms
media
as a common platform for mutual communication. To be specific. They can talk to their friends, family, or even strangers in different regions. All communication would Use synonyms
easily
and Rephrase
be easy
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
to contact
Verb problem
for
people
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, all age groups Linking Words
use
social Use synonyms
media
which might have risks to safety. Since all ages contact social Use synonyms
media
, children can easily Use synonyms
association
things that are violent or mature content. Replace the word
associate
For example
, some social Linking Words
media
apps always pop up Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
advertisement
that contain sexual content. Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
Thus
, Linking Words
those bad thing
would affect children’s mental health. In Change the determiner
that bad thing
those bad things
additional
, Replace the word
addition
people
realize that Use synonyms
make
Wrong verb form
making
use
of social Use synonyms
media
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
risk
Correct article usage
a risk
to
leakage Change preposition
of
Use synonyms
information
. Nowadays, Change preposition
of information
people
love to share their personal Use synonyms
information
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
, Use synonyms
such
as where they live, their self-portrait, or Linking Words
current
location. Correct pronoun usage
their current
Therefore
, the bad person would monitor them through social Linking Words
media
what they posed. If an individual does not post any security Use synonyms
information
online, Use synonyms
such
attacks can be reduced. Linking Words
As a result
, many Linking Words
people
are against the extensive usage of social networks since Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
compromises
their security and privacy.
In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages to internet usage. In my opinion, the benefits Correct subject-verb agreement
compromise
such
as faster contact with Linking Words
people
and access to Use synonyms
information
outweigh the disadvantages.Use synonyms
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task response
The response provides a partial answer to the task. The advantages are discussed more than the disadvantages. Balance the argument and provide equal weight to both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the main points need better development and organization. Use topic sentences to introduce each main point and ensure clear progression of ideas.