the crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions

#crime #rate #teenagers #countries

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It is often argued that the rate of crime has risen seriously among youth in a lot of countries. In

this

essay, we will be discussing the causes that result in

this

problem, and we will propose some solutions. At the outset, the breakdown of the nuclear family which mainly occurs

due to

the high divorce rate, results in negative consequences for their children.

For example

, they do not have a role model to follow in their childhood.

in addition

to that, they become easy prey to the accompany of bad people who indulge in bad habits like smoking and

crimes

Moreover

, they do not have a clear goal to achieve in their life, so it is easy for them to go astray or take drugs. On top of that, they have a lot of free time which makes them watch TV movies related to

crimes

;

hence

, they start to imitate criminal behaviours just for fun. Anyway, the government, educational institutions, and parents should work collectively to keep youngsters away from committing any crime.

Firstly

, the father should provide a loving environment in the family to keep it as one unit, and he should encourage his sons to practice various types of sports exercises like football, running, and jogging.

Also

, he should monitor their behaviour and advise them to limit watching violent movies.

Secondly

, the schools should motivate the students to do a lot of extracurricular activities that make them busy.

Thirdly

, The authority should conduct awareness seminars to explain the dangers of doing

crimes

,the punishments, and how to avoid doing it.The government should set up social clubs ,particularly for adolescents;

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

creates

Correct subject-verb agreement

create

show examples

a competitive environment among them to do good things. In conclusion,

although

Juvenile

crimes

increase dangerously in several countries

due to

certain reasons, it is not impossible to get rid of

this

problem through cooperation among all members of our society.

Submitted by sm710129 on Sat May 27 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay to ensure better flow and connectivity between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Include a more thorough introduction and conclusion that accurately summarize the main points of the essay.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the task prompt, and provide more relevant and specific examples to support the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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the crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both these views and give your own.

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Holding international games such as olympics is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effect, while others argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?