the crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions

It is often argued that the rate of crime has risen seriously among youth in a lot of countries. In
this
essay, we will be discussing the causes that result in
this
problem, and we will propose some solutions. At the outset, the breakdown of the nuclear family which mainly occurs
due to
the high divorce rate, results in negative consequences for their children.
For example
, they do not have a role model to follow in their childhood.
in addition
to that, they become easy prey to the accompany of bad people who indulge in bad habits like smoking and
crimes
.
Moreover
, they do not have a clear goal to achieve in their life, so it is easy for them to go astray or take drugs. On top of that, they have a lot of free time which makes them watch TV movies related to
crimes
;
hence
, they start to imitate criminal behaviours just for fun. Anyway, the government, educational institutions, and parents should work collectively to keep youngsters away from committing any crime.
Firstly
, the father should provide a loving environment in the family to keep it as one unit, and he should encourage his sons to practice various types of sports exercises like football, running, and jogging.
Also
, he should monitor their behaviour and advise them to limit watching violent movies.
Secondly
, the schools should motivate the students to do a lot of extracurricular activities that make them busy.
Thirdly
, The authority should conduct awareness seminars to explain the dangers of doing
crimes
,the punishments, and how to avoid doing it.The government should set up social clubs ,particularly for adolescents;
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
show examples
a competitive environment among them to do good things. In conclusion,
although
Juvenile
crimes
increase dangerously in several countries
due to
certain reasons, it is not impossible to get rid of
this
problem through cooperation among all members of our society.
Submitted by sm710129 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay to ensure better flow and connectivity between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include a more thorough introduction and conclusion that accurately summarize the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the task prompt, and provide more relevant and specific examples to support the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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