Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is creating environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is widely argued that increasing the number of
industries
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is essential for solving the problem of poverty,
while
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others believe that industrial growth is responsible for poor environmental conditions.
This
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essay agrees that industrial growth is much needed to solve the monetary problems of the poor because it will
prove
Verb problem
provide

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
employment to
people
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in need;
however
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, some improvements in the
overall
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process are required. On the one hand,
industries
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are capable of providing financial stability to
people
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by increasing job opportunities in an area as
industries
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will require labour in order to operate properly.
As a result
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, it will decrease the number of unemployed
people
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in that area. To aptly illustrate it, "Guru Gobin Singh Oil Refinery" is the prime example of
this
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because it provided jobs to more than 50,000 unemployed
people
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within its 20km radius. Despite providing jobs,
industries
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also
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contribute largely to the world's pollution.
However
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, there are some rules and regulations for pollution that are done by
industries
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but these
industries
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are able to find loopholes in the law and start abusing them for their benefit.
For example
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, Most of the toxic gases in the air come from
such
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industries
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.
Apart from
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this
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, these
industries
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are built on land which is usually a product of deforestation and increasing them will in turn promote deforestation, which is responsible for the extinction of many species of flora and fauna.
To conclude
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, increasing
industries
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are able to decrease poverty by providing more jobs. At the same time, they will
also
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cause environmental damage.
Thus
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, I opine that there should be strict implementation of laws for the environment's safety when increasing
industries
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and all of
this
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should be done in a controlled manner.

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task response
Your essay adequately addresses the task, providing arguments for both views and presenting a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but some parts could be more logically connected to improve coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial growth
  • poverty
  • income opportunities
  • technological advancements
  • productivity
  • income inequality
  • wealthy individuals
  • corporations
  • environmental impacts
  • impoverished communities
  • sustainable development
  • inclusive development
  • alleviation
  • measures
  • accompany
  • concerns
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