IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right or wrong so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teachers #students #judge #right #subjects
In the pedagogy ecosystem, there is a hotly debated topic which is the teacher's responsibility. Some societies argue that educators should train their learners in simple philosophy as a way to select perfect determinations,
while
 others advocate they should focus on academics. As a way to address
this
 issue, I will detail both paradigms in the following paragraphs and explain why the first notion is preferable
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the second idea.
To begin
 with, judging about right and wrong options is required to be done in order to improve their learners about choosing something. The educators have a massive portion in
this
 occasion in view of the previous values that can be mentioned later as separated materials which should be learned.
As a result
, perhaps students are able to make good decisions later
due to
 their capabilities in
this
 ecosystem have been improved frequently at the school.
For example
, when I was a student, I was taught by my teacher about how to construct preference.
Then
, it always assists me until now to create my personal view. Moving to the contra side, teaching about ethics can consume much time. Several people, specifically parents say
this
 can be not a preferable activity in view of the academic subjects which are essential to be explained do not have sufficient time to be explored exceptionally.
Consequently
,
instead
 of learners who can ameliorate their basic knowledge about Math or Biology, educators may just detail philosophy materials over numerous hours.
For instance
, there were several educationists in my class previously who considered explaining more about morals rather than academic knowledge.
To conclude
, rather than teaching about valid materials at the school, the teachers can offer extra hours
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
 sure that their students are capable
to create
Change preposition
of creating
show examples
excellent
Add an article
an excellent
show examples
 determination.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The response does not fully address the task requirements as the arguments are presented in a confusing manner. The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and cohesion as the ideas are not logically organized. There is a need for better paragraph structure and smoother transitions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!