family members and friends caring fotr elderly people find it hard to spend enough time looking after them.what are the causes of this problem?what solutions can you suggest?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The

Change the article

show examples

large number of

people

Use synonyms

admitted that it is hard to look after family elderly

Use synonyms

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

care

Use synonyms

them

Change preposition

for them

show examples

oftenly

Correct your spelling

often

Personally

Add a comma

,Personally

show examples

I believe

reason

Add an article

the reason

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem is

urbanization

Add an article

the urbanization

show examples

of big cities

Linking Words

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

financial

Add an article

a financial

the financial

show examples

inadequate condition of

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

. There are few

solution

Change to a plural noun

solutions

show examples

this

Linking Words

and

further

Linking Words

I will explain. In

modern

Add an article

the modern

show examples

world, it is undeniable that visiting grandparents for

reasonable

Add an article

a reasonable

show examples

time

Use synonyms

is complicated. In

Linking Words

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

three

decades

Add a comma

,decades

show examples

cities are crowded more than ever which

results

Add the preposition

inresults

fromresults

show examples

biggest companies, departments and universities

placed

Add a missing verb

being placed

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

city

Add an article

the city

show examples

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

as a consequence

Linking Words

youngsters tend to live

Change preposition

apply

show examples

downtown

on the other hand

Linking Words

older

people

Use synonyms

want to live in suburban places because of congestion.

As a result

Linking Words

, in order to come to their older family

member

Use synonyms

takes

time

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, in South Korea, Seoul to Busan takes at least 2 hours by train

moreover

Linking Words

, come

and go

Add a hyphen

and-go

show examples

time

Use synonyms

is roughly 4 to 6 hours. In

second

Add an article

the second

show examples

place,

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are financially dependent

from

Change preposition

show examples

their employment,

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other word, they have to work every single day even

some

Correct word choice

though some

show examples

of them are working overtime.

This

Linking Words

results

young

Change preposition

in young

show examples

people

Use synonyms

's overwork which is necessary to live. To put

another

Correct pronoun usage

it another

show examples

way, adults are working too much

also

Linking Words

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason they want to rest their weekend

instead

Linking Words

of visiting family. To tackle

this

Linking Words

issue,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should implement

Add an article

the law

show examples

law

Fix the agreement mistake

laws

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

working

Correct article usage

the working

show examples

environment,

overtime

Correct word choice

and overtime

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

action to increase

Correct article usage

the economical

show examples

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

state.

As a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are having enough money and

time

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

family

Use synonyms

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

under the government's fund, building nursing

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

Use synonyms

care

Correct word choice

and care

show examples

places will be helpful to

people

Use synonyms

who can't afford

taking

Change the verb form

to take

show examples

care

Use synonyms

of older

people

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

, financial

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

and urbanization are

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

that

people

Use synonyms

can't look after their family

Use synonyms

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

even if they want to. In order to solve

this

Linking Words

problem government should support

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

also

Linking Words

make nursing places as well. If they would do

this

Linking Words

, caring family

Use synonyms

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

will be no more problem in future.

llbayarmaaSun May 28 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
As water is valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, we are living in abundance thanks to highly developed technology. While some insist that as resources are abundant enough in modern society, there is no need to restrict using water, I believe that governments around the world should control the amount of water their citizens use. Without restrictions, it will have negative effects on future generations and developing countries.
8
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
When you enter into a university, you have the chance to research and learn what you are truly curious about. Some students tend to concentrate on their basic courses and others want to stick their necks out of it and get to know more about other subjects. In my view, there shouldn't be any limit to educating more, if have the capacity. In this essay, I will examine both attitudes and introduce my standpoint.
7
band
The amount of sport shown on television every week has increased significantly and this is having an impact on live sport events. Do you think the benefits of having more televised sport are greater than the disadvantages?
In today’s society, the rise of a wide range of sports exposure on television has affected live sports events. The question of whether this phenomenon is beneficial has become a matter of considerable debate. From my perspective, this trend definitely brings numerous benefits that outweigh the drawbacks.
7.5
band
In some countries, many parents teach their kids that everything can be achieved if they work try enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some countries, many parents teach their kids that everything can be achieved if they work try enough. In this essay, both the positive and negative consequences will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.
7
band
Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people believe it is necessary, but others think that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
People have different views about whether holders of top-spot positions in big firms should be paid more or as equal as ordinary employees. While it may seem unfair that managers earn more money, I completely agree that this is the right payment strategy.

family members and friends caring fotr elderly people find it hard to spend enough time looking after them.what are the causes of this problem?what solutions can you suggest?

Fully explain your ideas

As water is valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The amount of sport shown on television every week has increased significantly and this is having an impact on live sport events. Do you think the benefits of having more televised sport are greater than the disadvantages?

In some countries, many parents teach their kids that everything can be achieved if they work try enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people believe it is necessary, but others think that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.