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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart and graph below give information about participants who have entered the Olympics since it began. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart and graph below give information about participants who have entered the Olympics since it began. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The bar chart portrays specifically the number of
participants
Use synonyms
 separated by gender (male and female) in the
Olympics
Use synonyms
 from 1924 to 2012,
while
Linking Words
 the line graph depicts the total of
participants
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the male cohort was increasing from the beginning of the event until 2012, but the female cohort had no
participants
Use synonyms
 in 1924. They showed their participation in 1952 and rose again in every Olympic.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the total of
participants
Use synonyms
 in the
Olympics
Use synonyms
 was growth in the following years.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar chart, there were 3000 males in the
Olympics
Use synonyms
 in 1924 without any female representation. The male entrants slightly increased to around 4500
participants
Use synonyms
 in 1952,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, there were not only 1000 females at that time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the proportion was upward for both gender in 1984, 5000 males and about 1500 females participate in the event. In 2012, the proportion of males was the highest with 6000, and surprisingly the females' cohort witnessed a peak with an estimated 5000. It is interesting to note that the number of
participants
Use synonyms
 in the
Olympics
Use synonyms
 increases from year to year. There were around 3000 entrants in 1924 and moderately upward in 1952 representing 5000
participants
Use synonyms
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, in 1984 the numbers rose by making up 6000 people, and enormously rock in 2012 with a total of more than 10000 companions,
as a result
Linking Words
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, olympics with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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