IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jams #measures #governments #people #cars
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In
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
thirty
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 the number of people who have
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 has expanded worldwide.
Due to
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 there is almost always traffic jam in many countries. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 statement is true, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss how a government can reduce the
car
Use synonyms
 consumption of its society. First of all, in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
thirty
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 technology has developed quickly and
according to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
development
Add a comma
,development
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 new
cars
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 have
produced
Add a missing verb
been produced
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. With
this
Linking Words
 fast production demand
also
Linking Words
 increased and people have begun to buy
cars
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 rapidly all around the world.
For instance
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, in
Istanbul
Add a comma
,Istanbul
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 there is a constant traffic jam because the number of
cars
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 has extended in the city over the past
thirty
Use synonyms
years
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.
However
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, I believe that governments have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 power to discourage individuals to buy automobiles. One of them
to
Add a missing verb
is to
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 improve public
transportation
Use synonyms
 systems and make
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 affordable or
economic
Replace the word
economical
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 for citizens. With
this
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, individuals might use public
transportation
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instead
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 of private
cars
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.
For example
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, in
London
Add a comma
,London
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 the underground
transportation
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 system is highly developed. Everybody can reach every place that s/he wants to. When I go to London as a tourist, I
also
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 use
subway
Correct article usage
the subway
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 easily and I can go wherever I want to go. The other
think
Correct your spelling
thing
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 that government can do is to increase the price of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
automobiles. I believe that if they can make the
cars
Use synonyms
 expensive it could be the biggest
discourage
Replace the word
discouragement
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.
According to
Linking Words
 recent research, the growth of
car
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 owners has decreased in Turkey because of the high prices. In conclusion, I agree that the number of automobile owners has increased significantly over
thirty
Use synonyms
years
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 and
this
Linking Words
 causes a traffic problem.
Although
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, there are several methods that can discourage the population to buy
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
. These are improving
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
 system, making it affordable to everyone and increasing the private automobile prices.
Submitted by mervemuygun on

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