Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

As developing of technology,

smartphones

Use synonyms

are getting closer to our lives. More and more

people

Use synonyms

spend a larger amount of

time

Use synonyms

in their free

time

Use synonyms

using these devices because of their convenience and useful features.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that

this

Linking Words

is a negative trend for human beings, the

time

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

spend on exercise or moving their bodies reduces and they are depending on their phones heavily.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the background of

this

Linking Words

boosting expansion of

smartphones

Use synonyms

can be reasoned by their characteristics; countless information, ease to use, and multifunctions. The information in search platforms and social media have been updated every moment and they always offer us some entertainment to watch.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the usage of

smartphones

Use synonyms

is based on free or cheaper than physical activities, which makes

people

Use synonyms

have a low barrier

to begin

Linking Words

Thirdly

Linking Words

, it is possible to do shopping, watch films, communicate with friends and plan a holiday with the same device, they always have something to do with them.

Smartphones

Use synonyms

have easier acceptance and useful facilities which can cover everything we want, And

this

Linking Words

is enough to attract us for using them.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, endless information makes

people

Use synonyms

stick to the internet and it is difficult to manage their

time

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, these are not only advantages but

also

Linking Words

disadvantaged which are lacking exercise and addiction to

smartphones

Use synonyms

. Working out is one of the effective ways to have a healthy body, but

this

Linking Words

is prevented by

smartphones

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

do not need to go out to do something because they can do everything at home with their

smartphones

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, some just sit on the chair to play video games for more than 6 hours a day.

In addition

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, one societal problem is coming up, a lot of

people

Use synonyms

feel so anxious without

smartphones

Use synonyms

. They bring everywhere, and they cannot control themselves. Some students consume their

time

Use synonyms

by spending

time

Use synonyms

with their phones, which causes sleeping and tiredness during classes. When I was a high school student, all of my

student

Change to a plural noun

students

show examples

wasted their

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

posted-videos

Correct your spelling

posted videos

show examples

instead

Linking Words

of sleeping. And they were likely to have poor concentration and academic performance

due to

Linking Words

a shortage of rest.

However

Linking Words

, most of them could not stop that habit, they already relied on too much. The mental dependency on these devices is becoming a huge problem,

while

Linking Words

the amount of

time

Use synonyms

that

people

Use synonyms

utilize

Change preposition

apply

show examples

mobile phones has increased. In conclusion, the development of

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

has damaged

Change preposition

apply

show examples

life-style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

and health balance. Not only let

people

Use synonyms

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

activities

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

cause

anxious

Replace the word

anxiety

show examples

and dependence on these devices.

Therefore

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people

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should seriously and carefully see their usages and situation.

soumya.krishnamurthy

May 28, 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

434 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

screen time
digital addiction
instant gratification
multifunctional
connectivity
social networking
online services
self-expression
entertainment options
instant access
educational resources
communication tools
virtual interactions
distracted living
technological dependence

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Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is said tht money brings happiness. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries today children begin learning a foreign language before entering primary school. What are the reasons for this? At what age should children begin to learn a foreign language?

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised and at a younger age. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet?

A new generation of entrepreneurs believe that privately funded space tourism will be the next exciting development in space exploration. How true do you think this is ? How would space tourism affect space exploration as we know it today?