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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table and the pie chart illustrate about the number vehicles every hour during the week and the proportion of different means of transport which being used on two kind of road

The table and the pie chart illustrate about the number vehicles every hour during the week and the proportion of different means of transport which being used on two kind of road
The table and the pie chart illustrate
about
Change preposition
apply
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the number
vehicles
Change preposition
of vehicles
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 every hour during the week and the proportion of different means of
transport
Use synonyms
 which
being
Add a missing verb
are being
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 used on two
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
road
Use synonyms
 It can be seen that Oak Tree
drive
Correct your spelling
Drive
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 is more crowded on the weekend,
while
Linking Words
 Riverside
Road
Use synonyms
 is busier on weekdays. Cars are the most popular means of
transport
Use synonyms
 used on two
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
road
Use synonyms
According to
Linking Words
 the table, in Oak Tree Drive there is a gap that the number of vehicles on the weekend is more crowded than weekdays. Thursday seems to be the quietest day at 93 vehicles per hour,
while
Linking Words
 Sunday is the busiest over 350. Riverside
Road
Use synonyms
 has the opposite feature in the number of means of
transport
Use synonyms
 on weekdays higher, approximately 181 to 280 each hour. The Figure for the weekend is lower at 132 and 127 respectively. Turning to the second set of data, the proportion of trucks
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Oak Tree Drive
road
Use synonyms
 consumes around a quarter,
while
Linking Words
 cars
around
Add a missing verb
are around
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 44%.
In
Change preposition
On
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 Riverside
Road
Use synonyms
 cars are
also
Linking Words
 the majority means of
transport
Use synonyms
 at 62%, the figure for trucks, bicycles and motorbikes hit
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar point but with fewer rate.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words transport, road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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