Some people believe that technology has made man more social and others think that it has made him less social. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
With the increasing number of using
technology
to communicate today. Therefore
,some people
believe that modern technology
has upgraded their social interactions with others can be echoed that the connection through social media has negative effects. As far as,
I am concerned, has improved my social skills. Remove the comma
apply
This
essay will discuss both opinions and clarify more about advanced
Rephrase
how advanced
technology
has actually made human interaction more productive.
On the one hand, some people
use mobile phones, computers, and the Internet to add more friends and connect with family they carry through phone calls and using
social media platforms Verb problem
apply
such
as Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. In addition
, people
can have live chat and video call with friends and family from Correct article usage
apply
a
different location. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, now what is even better is many applications allow operations to communicate with borderless from different countries at a low cost compared with the past decades. Thus
, I strongly agree with this
view. This
shows the technology
of socialization.
However
, other people
believe that using social media cause
the dropping of conventional communication Replace the word
causes
as a result
of digital products and application software. To be addicted usage of digital devices to contact the public makes some teenagers in technologically advanced countries spend most time indoors better than meeting face to face with their proximity like best friends, siblings, parents and neighbours. It
is not a huge number of smartphones, but Correct pronoun usage
There
people
must take physical integration by reducing of using
Verb problem
apply
technology
products. This
present emphasizes the negative effects of technology
on socialization.
In conclusion, digital devices may consume valuable time, the
issues can be figured out if those inventions Correct word choice
but the
use
properly. Wrong verb form
are used
Besides
this
, advanced technology
makes people
contact each other frequently with little cost and more effective.Submitted by vlpduangmany on
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improvement
Task response: The essay addresses both views but lacks a clear opinion. The introduction is not well-structured and the conclusion is weak. The main points are not clearly supported or developed.
improvement
Coherence and cohesion: There is some logical structure present, but the essay lacks cohesive transitions between ideas. The introduction and conclusion need improvement to effectively frame the discussion. The supporting examples are not well-developed and do not contribute to a cohesive argument.