IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

#people #schools #students #pupils #school #term #option #children #debate #conclusion
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, boarding
schools
Use synonyms
 are so popular and many
people
Use synonyms
 send their
children
Use synonyms
 to these kinds of
schools
Use synonyms
. But there is always an argument between
people
Use synonyms
 who like something and those who do not. In
this
Linking Words
 situation, some individuals believe that these
schools
Use synonyms
 have lots of benefits for pupils and some
people
Use synonyms
 are against their opinion. On one hand, we have
people
Use synonyms
 who think boarding
schools
Use synonyms
 have advantages for
children
Use synonyms
 and it is good to sign them up in these
schools
Use synonyms
. Boarding
schools
Use synonyms
 are a great place for pupils to bloom. They might learn lots of things, they learn how to live with other
people
Use synonyms
 with different personalities. It is
also
Linking Words
 a good thing that they spend their whole time with their peers. These are the things that
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 group like about boarding
schools
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we have
people
Use synonyms
 who think sending their
children
Use synonyms
 to boarding school is a waste of time. They might believe it is hard to separate from their
children
Use synonyms
 and have no idea what they do at the moment. It is often said that these kinds of
schools
Use synonyms
 are not safe places for
children
Use synonyms
 and it is difficult for
children
Use synonyms
 to live with other supervisors
instead
Linking Words
 of their own families. Even though officials and managers of
schools
Use synonyms
 should be pretty kind to students, there is no place like for someone like home. It
also
Linking Words
 might be boring for
children
Use synonyms
 to stay for about nine months in a specific area.
As a result
Linking Words
, boarding
schools
Use synonyms
 have some advantages and disadvantages and
people
Use synonyms
 should decide whether the benefits are worth the drawbacks before they sign their
children
Use synonyms
 up. But in my opinion, it is better for
children
Use synonyms
 to stay at home
instead
Linking Words
 of
school
Change preposition
in school
show examples
 dorms except in special circumstances.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your essay more effectively by clearly separating your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph should focus on one main idea, discuss it in detail and provide clear explanations or examples.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be more impactful. Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. The conclusion should effectively summarize your key points and restate your position with a strong closing statement.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with detailed arguments and relevant examples. While you have provided some reasons and discussions for each side of the argument, these need to be elaborated upon, perhaps with specific instances or clearer explanations to effectively support your points.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay thoroughly addresses the task. While you present both sides of the debate, delve deeper into the reasons why people hold their respective views. More importantly, you should offer a more nuanced personal conclusion that stems from your preceding arguments.
task achievement
Articulate your ideas clearly and ensure they are comprehensive. Work on providing more detailed explanations and developing paragraphs that explore each topic thoroughly, including how the advantages might outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.
task achievement
Use specific examples to enhance your argument. This improves your task response by showing the practical implications of your points. Consider using hypothetical scenarios or referencing studies or statistics that could add weight to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: