IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? provide relevant examples if necessary.

#salary #job #satisfaction
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Nowadays, more
people
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 claim that jobs with a higher salary are more important in our life than
job
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satisfaction
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, even if it doesn’t appeal to them at all.
While
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 other groups argue that we should pursue our dream careers. I completely disagree that high-wage jobs important than
job
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 fulfilment. First of all, I believe that
job
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satisfaction
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 gives
people
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 more sense of fulfilment which
money
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 isn’t able to provide. Even those who have high salaries, they still feel empty and bored with their lives. Because when someone works hard to pursue their interests rather than how much
money
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 they’ll earn, which always brings the feeling their employment decisions not depending on the attractive wage, but just because they were enthusiastic to go in-depth into their career,
such
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 as Einstein, the famous scientist who made many achievements for our world.
This
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 is why it is important to look for the kind of
job
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 that makes you happy rather than just bringing
money
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.
On the other hand
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, no matter what type of employment you choose, as long as it can keep you motivated it
also
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 leads to career growth. The workplace is where
people
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 spend most of their time, so if they aren’t satisfied with their
job
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, they will get lost, affecting not only the company they
work
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 for but
also
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 their own family relationships.
Therefore
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, when they extremely love their jobs, they
work
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 on their own for working, earning
money
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 for their families. In conclusion, I believe that
job
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satisfaction
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 overweighs big wages, which helps
people
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 stay motivated and be creative in their
work
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,
this
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 allows them to invent uncountable amazing inventions and to look for more effective methods for particular areas in their
work
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.
Finally
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,
job
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satisfaction
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 gives employees contentment and a sense of happiness.
Submitted by caelumz1121 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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