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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In the graph below, we have graph that shows in percentage changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the United Kingdom.

In the graph below, we have graph that shows in percentage changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the United Kingdom.
#percentage #patterns #access #technology #homes #kingdom
The line chart illustrates the type of people
utilize
Correct pronoun usage
who utilize
show examples
 modern technology accesses in
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 in the United Kingdom from 1996 to 2003.
It is clear that
CD
Correct article usage
the CD
show examples
 player was the most popular in most family access throughout the period given. Home computer start with the second position but was replaced by mobile phones
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
statistic
Correct article usage
the statistic
show examples
. Internet was not shown at the beginning but
increaced
Correct your spelling
increased
 significantly after its
apparence
Correct your spelling
appearance
. In terms of CD
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
, it stood at 60% in 1996 and rose dramatically to over 80% in 2002.
On the other hand
, home
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 increased
stablely
Correct your spelling
stability
 for the 8 years period.
However
,
mobile
Add an article
the mobile
a mobile
show examples
 phone
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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slightly rose before 1998 and
then
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exceeded
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1999 to 2000. After a mild fluctuation,
mobile
Add an article
the mobile
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 came to approximately 70%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
British houses. There was
a significant evidence
Remove the article
significant evidence
a piece of significant evidence
a shred of significant evidence
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 that Internet access
was appear
Change the verb form
appeared
show examples
 in 1998, at the
begin
Replace the word
beginning
show examples
 with 10%. By the following six years, it grew rapidly over 4 times,
accounts
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 42% in the final survey.
Submitted by miriam3388 on

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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • changing patterns
  • domestic access
  • modern technology
  • homes
  • United Kingdom
  • trend
  • acceleration
  • socioeconomic factors
  • income levels
  • educational attainment
  • correlation
  • internet access
  • personal computers
  • digital connection
  • computing
  • drop
  • plateau
  • asymptotic behavior
  • saturation
  • emergence
  • innovation
  • adoption rates
  • households
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