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Band 6

Many teenagers are encouraged by their parents to get a part-time job. What are the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers working part-time?

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Nowadays, many parents encourage their children to have part-time paid positions. Some people think it brings many benefits,
while
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 many don’t. In my opinion, it has both demerits and merits, and it will be explained below. Obviously, working part-time benefits teenagers in myriad ways. The most noteworthy positive point is experience.
In other words
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is quite beneficial for teenagers to do part-time employment.
Consequently
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if they are part-time workers, they can gain a lot of experience by facing reality.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if adolescents wish to establish their own cafeteria start-up business, they would need to study how the cafeteria actually works by experiencing casual work as a waiter or waitress. Another merit is finance, working not only brings youths experience but
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 money. By earning a living by themselves, they are capable of buying something they like thanks to the allowances obtained from their freelance job. Despite the merits mentioned above, I personally believe that there are some negative impacts.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, one of the primary effects is a lack of focus on education. Indeed, some teens
rusk
Correct your spelling
rise

The word rusk doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 to work to gain wages, and
hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 that affects their studying performances because working part-time is time-consuming.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they are exposed to various types of people in the working environment, and it is possible that they can be affected by mean persons.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, serving in a
night bar club
Correct your spelling
nightclub

The word night bar club doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, young waiters may be at risk of being approached by heroin-addicted guys. Unfortunately, they may be seduced to the danger of cocaine-based drugs if they do not know how to protect against bad behaviour contamination. In conclusion,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 trend may bring both advantages and disadvantages. It belongs to each person whether it is a demerit or merit. It is advisable that parents need to consider their child’s abilities before making a decision whether to encourage their child to have a part-time job or not.

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