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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA are in fast-food restaurant between 2003 and 2013.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA are in fast-food restaurant between 2003 and 2013.
#people #usa #fast-food #restaurant
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The graph illustrates how often
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
American eating
fast-food
Use synonyms
 from 2003 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is most people had
fast-food
Use synonyms
 once a week from 2003 to 2006
while
Linking Words
 most of them spent
one
Use synonyms
 or two times having
Use synonyms
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
 per month in 2013. Another striking factor is that there are some people who had never taken a
fast-food
Use synonyms
 meal during the period between 2003 and 2013. In 2003, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
American eating
Use synonyms
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
 once a week,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is a bit higher than the figure of
one
Use synonyms
 to two times a month, 31% and 30% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there was a change in rank in 2013,
while
Linking Words
 the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of people taking a
fast-food
Use synonyms
 meal
Use synonyms
one
Correct your spelling
once
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 a week gained a decrease, the figure of
one
Use synonyms
-two
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 saw a downward trend, 28% against 33%.
One
Use synonyms
 prominent feature of
this
Linking Words
 data is not only the figure of never but
also
Linking Words
 the data of having
fast-food
Use synonyms
 experienced a little decrease
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
aproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 2% over the period.
Submitted by nlongduy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fast-food, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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