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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA are in fast-food restaurant between 2003 and 2013.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA are in fast-food restaurant between 2003 and 2013.
#people #usa #fast-food #restaurant
The graph illustrates how often
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
American eating
fast-food
 from 2003 to 2013.
Overall
, what stands out from the graph is most people had
fast-food
 once a week from 2003 to 2006
while
 most of them spent
one
 or two times having
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
 per month in 2013. Another striking factor is that there are some people who had never taken a
fast-food
 meal during the period between 2003 and 2013. In 2003, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
American eating
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
 once a week,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is a bit higher than the figure of
one
 to two times a month, 31% and 30% respectively.
In contrast
, there was a change in rank in 2013,
while
 the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of people taking a
fast-food
 meal
one
Correct your spelling
once
show examples
 a week gained a decrease, the figure of
one
-two
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 saw a downward trend, 28% against 33%.
One
 prominent feature of
this
 data is not only the figure of never but
also
 the data of having
fast-food
 experienced a little decrease
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
aproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 2% over the period.
Submitted by nlongduy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fast-food, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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