Nowadays more and more people are buying products and services on credit. Is it good or bad for the society?
It has become increasingly common
that
many Correct word choice
for
people
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
products
or something because of advertisements or celebrities .Some people
believe that it is good and reliable .However
, personally
I think we should have evaluation about Add a comma
personally,
products
.In this
essay
we discuss these problems.
No one can deny the fact that Add a comma
essay,
products
in advertisements always
attractive with benefits which we need , but we should look at Add a missing verb
are always
immediate
positive it really Correct article usage
the immediate
bring
into reality The immediate result produces is we have Change the verb form
brings
selection
Add an article
a selection
about
Change preposition
of
products
and model sensible purchasing behavior
, perhaps the most obvious result of Change the spelling
behaviour
that is
make financial decisions and save for costly purchases.Nothing could be more apparent than evidence that In the USA, people
usually buy something in sale
season because they can control their Correct article usage
the sale
money
and saving much
Wrong verb form
save a lot of
money
instead
of buy
Wrong verb form
buying
products
in
television or Change preposition
on
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
. .Capitalize word
Internet
By contrast
, it is a risk due to
overdependence on cost . it always quality
of Add an article
the quality
products
On other
hand , one thing which is equally important is that we usually Correct article usage
the other
buying
something because Wrong verb form
buy
idol
or celebrities and spend much currency Change preposition
of idol
to
them but do not have Change preposition
on
a
aim, Change the article
an
this
is also
responsible for we
do not control disposable income and increase personal debt .Rephrase
why we
As a
result
reduce Add a comma
result,
to
quality .The most familiar example of Change preposition
apply
this
is In Vietnam , more popular people
to
take charge of large Fix the infinitive
apply
money
because Correct pronoun usage
their behavior
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
use
Change the verb form
uses
money
Add an article
the money
of
them .Replace the word
off
By contrast
, we should have
make financial decisions to balance quality of life and consumer Unnecessary verb
apply
products
avoid
Correct word choice
and avoid
buy
something really cheap but Wrong verb form
buying
it
not good.
In conclusion , when buying something on credit , it depend on many facts and possession Correct your spelling
is
there
have to buy for suitable , and can strategies to control disposable income or taxCorrect pronoun usage
they
Submitted by sinh.ielts on
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coherence cohesion
Your response lacks clarity in its structure and fails to properly address the prompt about credit and its effect on society. To improve cohesion, ensure your ideas follow a logical sequence and each paragraph has a clear central topic. Introduction and conclusion sections should explicitly address the topic and summarize your argument. Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences and support each point with relevant examples or explanations.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the prompt but does not provide a clear and complete response to the question of buying on credit and its implications for society. You should focus on developing your main ideas more thoroughly, providing specific examples that are directly related to the topic. Make sure your ideas directly answer the question and provide a reasoned argument, rather than simply listing observations.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?