IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the samepark today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. At least 150 words

#plans #show #park #first #samepark #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given plans illustrate how a change in a community
park
’s infrastructure between 1992 and now.
Overall
, There have been many changes to the facilities of the
park
such
 as the addition or removal of items since 1992.
Furthermore
, it can be obvious that items were relocated during the same period. First of all, in the centre of the
park
 the Fountain which was replaced with a
Rose
garden
 , was knocked down . To the west of the centre , four seating areas have been moved to new places, which surround the
Rose
Garden
. In the northwest of the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
park
 there were remain a
Rose
garden
 .
However
, the
Rose
garden
 in the South site was flattened . On the left-hand side of the new
garden
, the previous state for musicians has been innovated to become Amphitheatre for concerts .
Subsequently
 , in the East of the
park
 , the previous
Rose
garden
, glasshouse and pond for water plants were respectively replaced with a café store , water feature and Children’s play area . At the moment , there is a new Entrance car
park
 erected in the underground.
Submitted by huuhung1962001 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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