IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenages while other disagree. Discussboth Views

People
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 have different views about giving teenagers
cash
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 rather than purchasing a
gift
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 for them .
This
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 essay will discuss both views in the forthcoming paragraphs. ‏There is no denying the fact that everyone these days is attached to
money
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 at different ages.
people
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 who ‏advocate
This
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 opinion which is
money
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 as a present is the greatest
gift
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 young
people
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 could have because It is challenging to make guesses about what they like or what kind of present can appeal to them.
However
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,
money
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 is the best idea for gifts for teenagers. ‏
in
Capitalize word
In
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 order to, give them the freedom to select anything to pay with that
money
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 and that leads to them relying on themselves . Which in turn make ‏them independent
as well as
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 satisfied to cover their need. 
Thus
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,based on the above discussion
money
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 is
the
Correct article usage
a
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great
gift
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 ‏for young
people
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. ‏ ‏Individuals who argued the opposite point of the discussion
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 believed that
teenage
Correct your spelling
teenagers
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 too young to own
cash
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 as a giveaway.
Although
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 ‏it sounds appealing to them, they
are ‏have
Change the verb form
have
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 no control to manage any financial decision. As an example , recent research shows some data from a group of
Add an article
a
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high school student who spends their
money
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 on
Add an article
the
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useless thing. In order to that, There is a huge chance to waste their
money
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.
Hence
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, many
gift
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 options are available for young communities rather than
cash
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 .
To conclude
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, there has been increasing debate about adolescent presents.Some
people
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 assert that
cash
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 is the best way to give them the opportunity
of choosing
Change preposition
to choose
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,
while
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 others feel it is a mistake to make young
people
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 waste their
money
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due to
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 management skills related to their ages.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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