Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is widely believed that
child
should learn how to play a musical instrument. Personally, I completely agree with Fix the agreement mistake
children
this
idea for a variety of reasons.
First of all, child
can create their own personality. Add an article
the child
a child
This
is because music can stimulate their imagination and if they learn how to play a musical instrument, the stimulation is more effective and from there, they can build and develop their own world and forming
their personalities. In fact, people always feel Wrong verb form
form
attracting
to someone Change the form of the verb
attracted
which
has Correct pronoun usage
who
strong
and artistic Correct article usage
a strong
personalities
. Fix the agreement mistake
personality
According to
IMC (International Music Council) experiment, there are 67% people
around the world feel attracted when they talk with people Change preposition
of people
whose
can play musical instruments.
Correct pronoun usage
who
Secondly
, a child
can improve their ability to absorb, think,… through learn
about music. Change the verb form
learning
This
means that when child
learn and feel notes and melody, their brains will Fix the agreement mistake
children
more
active and improve their ability. In fact, Add a missing verb
be more
child
has learned and played musical instruments often think and solve the problem skillfully and effectively more than a normal Add an article
the child
a child
child
. According to
the report of Havard University, the ability of thinking
in children Replace the preposition
to think
can
play instrumental is more sensitive and adaptive quickly than in normal Correct pronoun usage
who can
child
13%.
In conclusion, there Fix the agreement mistake
children
several
opinions about the question” Add a missing verb
are several
should
we let our children learn musical instruments?”. Personally, I think we should let them learn and play it because there are lots of great benefits.Correct your spelling
Should
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite