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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that the support of celebrities for international aid organisations draws attention to their causes, while others think celebrity support makes their causes seem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #support #celebrities #aid #organisations #attention #celebrity
Although
 having a celebrity front
an
Correct word choice
and an
show examples
 international aid organisation can help raise awareness for their cause, some argue that
this
 just draws attention away from the real issue. Those in favour might argue that high-profile personalities garner greater support because, as a pop-culture-driven society, we are more likely to follow where the rich and famous lead.
While
this
 may be true, it
also
 paints us as selfish sheep unable to care about each other’s struggles until a famous person makes caring “cool.” Unfortunately, the notion that fame is synonymous with value is a pervasive one, but I hold humanity in much higher esteem. Consider the many floods and bushfires that ravage Australia each year. Every time, the nation pulls together to feed, house, and clothe victims without the slightest prompting from the likes of Johnny Depp or Beyoncé.
Similarly
, Vladimir Putin’s recent atrocities have been globally denounced in a wave of tangible support for Ukraine without any need for celebrity intervention. There is
also
 the potential for celebrities to use a good cause to prop up their sagging careers or detract from it via the “guilty-by-association” mindset so prevalent in our
stillmaturing
Correct your spelling
still maturing
still-maturing
 collective psyche. The “tall poppy” falls from grace, and everything (and everyone) with whom they are associated is
also
 thrown into doubt. Ultimately, those of us who prefer our charities star-free are arguing for a clear separation of heart and ego and a deeper trust in humanity‘s inherent goodness. As we eventually outgrow
this
 “fame equals value” nonsense, I believe we will see a steady decline in celebrity representation for charities of all kinds and a sharp increase in our collective intelligence. As for our capacity to care (for me, at least), it was never in question.
Submitted by hongha8797 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Garner significant media attention
  • Raise awareness
  • International aid organisations
  • Increased donations and support
  • Lend credibility
  • Sense of urgency
  • Overshadow the actual issues
  • Superficial understanding
  • Complexities of the issues
  • Perceived as a trend
  • Public perception
  • Media attention
  • Broader audience
  • Social media following
  • Relatable to the general public
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