Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

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People have different views on the influence which e-competition has on its players.

While

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there are some positive effects on the people who play it, I do believe that these advantages are outweighed by the disadvantages. On the one hand, I accept that it is beneficial to engage in electric games. These video games can enhance our creativity and enable us to become more innovative individuals. What’s more, these stimulators are sources to improve our response speed and make us respond more quickly than our counterparts who never

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

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such

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a virtual world which requires us to make a response as soon as possible.

Thirdly

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, an environment which requires fast reaction is likely to develop our sense of cooperation and competition.

For example

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, those adolescents who prefer to take part in team games have a stronger ability to collaborate. Having

such

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sensitivity to external changes and higher awareness to compete and cooperate are prerequisites for our future career path.

Firstly

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, being addicted to the virtual atmosphere provided by designers would harm the eyesight of their users.

Additionally

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, these addicts would develop a sedentary lifestyle, which would have severe influences on their spines, especially for those adolescents who are immature physically.

For instance

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, it is said that maintaining the same position without moving for a long time always is accompanied by growing obesity among teenagers.

Lastly

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, spending a large number of hours in

this

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unreal world would detach these players from reality, which leads to a narrower social circle. In conclusion, I can understand the reason why individuals support attractive virtual competition, but I would argue that there are more drawbacks than benefits.

Submitted by 915818382 on Thu Jun 01 2023

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task response

Provide a clear opinion on whether the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits.

coherence cohesion

Improve the introduction and conclusion to clearly outline the main points of the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and more appropriate word choices.

grammatical range

Work on more complex sentence structures and varied grammar.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Sending people to prison is not effective, and other methods such as community work should be supported instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Child labour is considered to be one of the most serious problems ob the planet. What are the reasons why children find themselves in child labour and can be done to tackle this issue ?

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fast food is becoming one part of people’s daily life everywhere, and this has had negative effects on our lifestyle and diet. Do you agree with this statement?