Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
People have different views on the influence which e-competition has on its players.
While
there are some positive effects on the people who play it, I do believe that these advantages are outweighed by the disadvantages.
On the one hand, I accept that it is beneficial to engage in electric games. These video games can enhance our creativity and enable us to become more innovative individuals. What’s more, these stimulators are sources to improve our response speed and make us respond more quickly than our counterparts who never involve
in Wrong verb form
involved
such
a virtual world which requires us to make a response as soon as possible. Thirdly
, an environment which requires fast reaction is likely to develop our sense of cooperation and competition. For example
, those adolescents who prefer to take part in team games have a stronger ability to collaborate. Having such
sensitivity to external changes and higher awareness to compete and cooperate are prerequisites for our future career path.
Firstly
, being addicted to the virtual atmosphere provided by designers would harm the eyesight of their users. Additionally
, these addicts would develop a sedentary lifestyle, which would have severe influences on their spines, especially for those adolescents who are immature physically. For instance
, it is said that maintaining the same position without moving for a long time always is accompanied by growing obesity among teenagers. Lastly
, spending a large number of hours in this
unreal world would detach these players from reality, which leads to a narrower social circle.
In conclusion, I can understand the reason why individuals support attractive virtual competition, but I would argue that there are more drawbacks than benefits.Submitted by 915818382 on
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task response
Provide a clear opinion on whether the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion to clearly outline the main points of the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and more appropriate word choices.
grammatical range
Work on more complex sentence structures and varied grammar.