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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #positions #salaries #workers #company #people #isn’t
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In
this
 current world, several
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 assume that the salary given to employees is determined by the seniority position in many companies, which is unjustified. I disagree with the second
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
, and
this
 essay will discuss
further
Correct pronoun usage
it further
show examples
.
To begin
 with, there are two reasons why I disagree with the cited issue. The most important factor is novice
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 may require extra cost for guidance and supervision to accomplish their work as a part of on-the-job training.
This
 is because they
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 fully able to do the task at hand independently and requires a learning phase. In stark contrast with experienced labourers, they could complete their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 autonomously and might be faster and cost less than novice
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
.
As a result
, those who have worked longer in a
company
 are considered more economically favourable than new workers.
Moreover
, to support my argument, Thera
two
Add a missing verb
has two
show examples
 diversity from senior and junior
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
. Old people have more weight in the loyalty section, where they have contributed to making their
company
 more valuable.
while
 those who are still relatively new do not have it.
this
 is what makes those who are senior in the
company
 deserve more rewards, one of which is a bigger salary. Taking everything into consideration. I disagree that salaries are given equally without considering seniority. on the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 most new workers need additional costs to learn.
while
 senior workers tend to make the
company
 more profitable.
moreover
, people who have been there for a long time have
also
 contributed to building the
company
 has more value.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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